Mary-Kate Olsen is a Muppet, or a Jedi

When I first looked at this picture, I thought, oh, hey, awesome Master Yoda. Maybe he’ll do some crazy lightsaber attacks or something. But then I looked closely, and, man, it’s Mary-Kate Olsen. That’s like meeting a hot girl and having her promise you an evening of “lots of naked stuff.” Only you get her home, turn on the lights, and holy shit, it’s Tara Reid – with her shirt off. Why does the left one look like that – oh, dude, your stomach. Put your shirt back on. Please. I have a very full stomach and a heart condition.