Ivanka Trump: For your dating consideration

Ivanka Trump the 26-year-old daughter of Donald and Ivana Trump is back on the market. And unlike another certain heiress we know, Ivanka is STD-free and runs her own mortgage empire. (Read: She’ll buy you a Wii.) Page Six reports:

We noticed Trump – who had been dating real estate mogul and New York Observer owner Jared Kushner for almost a year – was flying solo at a few recent soirees, and friends of the couple confirmed yesterday to Page Six that the power couple are no longer together.

I don’t think many of us common Joes stand a chance. Ivanka’s probably looking for a guy that’s A.) super loaded. and B.) has testicles made of Faberge eggs. Sadly, mine are only lined with diamonds. God, I suck.