Young Hollywood Celebrities

Suddenly, Jennifer Aniston’s nipple sonar went off: Somebody was popping nips and their name wasn’t Jennifer Aniston.

And then it happened: Jennifer Aniston’s assistant, clearly gone suicidal, attempted to block the nipples with her purse. Her body would later be found in a sand dune on a Mexican beach. The police deduced the culprit’s identity by the two punctures wound in the back, but who would dare prosecute? Anyone worth their badge knew you didn’t go after the nipples. Not in this town. Not in any town…

Jamie Spears will continue his conservatorship of Britney until the end of the year. The commissioner extended Jamie’s control of Britney’s estate during a hearing this afternoon, but left it open to early termination. (Read: Once Britney can put on her clothes like a big girl, she gets her bank account back.) E! Online reports:

“Regarding the conservatorship of the person, I understand that Ms. Spears is reluctantly agreeing to extend those letters,” Goetz said. “We are extending them until Dec. 31, 2008.”
A status hearing for the extended order has been set for Oct. 28.

My sources tell me Britney’s reluctance was easily won over when her dad promised her a pony. Except after the hearing he said “Just kidding” and took her to the dentist.

Now that Jessica Alba had a kid and can no longer be considered a sex symbol, at least we can enjoy her last few seconds of fame by checking out her MILF boobies and nipples. I know some of you girls get mad at me because you think that I think just because she had a kid, Jessica’s no longer appealing. Truth is, her career’s over because she’s just a bad actress. And that she’s no longer appealing because she had a kid.

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Photos: SplashNewsOnline

Rihanna hit the clubs last night in New York City and apparently decided to fly sans bra. These pics might be considered LSFW depending on your boss’ vision. If he clearly sees nipples, that man’s in the wrong line of work and should be a goddamn Army sniper. I’ve been staring at these things for hours like it’s a Magic Eye picture. So far all I’ve seen is a tugboat, two polar bears kissing and Edgar Winter.

Hey, remember this guy? Sam Lutfi a.k.a. Douchebeard McDrugYourDrinks. Well, it turns out the restraining order requiring him to stay 250 yards away from Britney Spears expires today. The order will not be renewed, but Britney’s lawyer issued the following public statement to Douchebeard letting him know what the fuck’s up. The AP reports:

“Britney has made clear to everyone that she does not want to be further harassed or contacted in any way by Osama ‘Sam’ Lutfi, now or at anytime in the future,” Spears’ attorney Samuel D. Ingham III said in a statement to The Associated Press.
“During the temporary conservatorship, the conservators have the power to insure that Lutfi will not harm Britney anymore. If Mr. Lutfi makes any future attempt to contact Britney after the temporary conservatorship has concluded, Britney has made clear she will take all appropriate legal action.”

Did Britney really make it clear she’ll “take all appropriate legal action”? I doubt she knows what one of those words even mean. Here’s a more likely scenario: “If Mr. Lutfi attempts to contact Britney, Britney will take actions including, but not limited to, sticking a bucket of KFC over her head then running into a wall. Britney also reserves the right to say ‘Whoop whoop whoop whoop!’ prior to impact.”

Today is a very special day. July the 31st 2008, the day that we will always remember as the day we seen Rihanna’s nipples. Yes those are her nipples and not dinner plates. Christina Aguilera is still the queen of the pierced nipple shots. Keep reading for the uncensoreds.

I haven’t done a post on Rihanna in a long time, ever since I learned that she’s a no talent singer. But here she is out and about wearing a see through shirt. Now I don’t know if she’s got pasties on, or if those are her nipples we’re seeing but if they are, oh my, those are large. A little too large for my taste.

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Photos: SplashNewsOnline

Here’s Jennifer Aniston out shopping in a tight see-through tank top. Now I don’t know if she’s wearing a bra or not but one thing’s for sure, her famous nipples are making their way through. There’s no hiding those suckers. Want a lick anyone?

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Photos: Flynet

If you’re wondering what the hell Amanda Bynes has been up to lately, let’s just say not getting fat. Yes, we’ve all seen her balloon up in weight in the past but things look like they’re under control now. Unfortunately, that’s not the case with me. Girl’s ass is causing a pant fire over here.

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Photos: Bauer-Griffin

Here is Kendra Wilkinson at some golf charity and as you can see, she dressed appropriately, at least for my standards that is. Not sure if the club appreciated the upskirt action she was providing but it sure beats looking at Tiger Woods’ rear end. Don’t you think?

6 more pictures of Kendra Wilkinson here

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Photos: SplashNewsOnline