Young Hollywood Celebrities

Former SNL cast member Chris Kattan married a model. Yeah what?

Chris Kattan, a former cast member of NBC’s “Saturday Night Live,” tied the knot with model Sunshine Tutt in Yosemite Valley, Calif., on Saturday, his publicist, Jill Fritzo, said Monday.

Congrats Chris, don’t pretend like you didn’t like Night at The Roxbury. SCORE!

You know how Jesus was persecuted? You know who else is persecuted against? Durr dumbass Heidi Montag! They’re totally alike.

“I don’t even want to talk about that,” Montag says. “There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know? But it doesn’t matter to me.”

“I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God,” says Montag, who grew up in Colorado with Holly, brother Sky, 15, and her since-divorced parents, Bill, a rancher, and Darlene, who runs a restaurant with Montag’s stepfather.

This August, she and Pratt are headed to Africa to “feed children and help build things.” Cameras will capture their trek, but not for The Hills. Pratt says it’s possible they could adopt a baby while over there, but Montag laughs that idea off.

If it wasn’t for Perez Hilton i would have no idea who this whore is. She talks about wanting to win an Oscar, is she serious? Wikipedia says she’s a musician, has a clothing line and an aspiring actress. Jesus Christ can’t she stick to one thing and be horrible at that?

If you ever wanna look at Britney Spears as being attactive anytime soon i would not look at this post. Britney Spears was caught doing what she does best, no not giving food to the homeless. She was caught showing some hairy, ewww just read more to see.

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I really don’t know what to say about these pics of porn star Bridget the Midget’s flashing a boob this weekend. Mostly because I’m disappointed a unicorn didn’t fly out of her cleavage like these doodles I made on my Trapper Keeper. Although, technically, I believe Bridget’s obligated to at least shoot gold coins out of her nipple, if my interpretation of midget law isn’t mistaken. Which it could be because they write so. Damn. Small.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW version including one of Bridget’s tattoo of a dollar bill that’s cleverly replaced George Washington with, well, here’s a hint: that’s not a flower.

Nereida Gallardo continues her vacation in Italy with soccer star boyfriend Cristiano Ronaldo. At some angles, Nereida looks absolutely banging. While in others, Holy crap, cellulite. But I’m willing to look past all that because I’m a sensitive guy who drinks a lot and had sex with a a toaster last night. I’ve got nowhere to go but up. (Provided the coffeepot stops giving me “the eye.”) That said; Nereida, quit smoking and hit the treadmill. Otherwise you’ve got a future ahead of you filled with sarongs and choreographed butt-flexing like someone I know. Let’s just say her name rhymes with “Kim Kardashian” and leave it at that.

Here’s Miranda Kerr teasing us by covering herself in Australian Men’s Style Magazine. This seems to be a reoccurring theme with her but since we’ve already seen her topless on numerous occasions I don’t know why she’s hiding the goods now. Anyway, girl is hot but she’s going to get pretty boring soon if she keeps this up.

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Heidi Montag is a devout Christian and wish people knew more about her faith. But you don’t hear much of that because she’s too busy posing in pictures that could only be used as Aryan greeting cards. But in between displaying her funbags, Heidi has a deep spiritual side that she shared with USA Today. Let’s take a look at Heidi’s ability to form thoughts which will make you cringe because of the fact her uterus is fertile and capable of reproduction:

On how she’s just like Jesus but with implants:
“There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know? But it doesn’t matter to me.”

On her and Spencer’s faith and surprising ability to read:
Montag identifies herself as “kind of non-denominational Baptist” and hopes to release a Christian album one day. Both she and Pratt read the Bible conscientiously. “I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God.”

On traveling to Africa - Paris Hilton style:
This August, she and Pratt are headed to Africa to “feed children and help build things.” Cameras will capture their trek, but not for The Hills.

Heidi also plans on releasing a Christian music album and you know what? I couldn’t think of a better market for her. SNAP! Did I just burn religion and Heidi in one sentence? I think I did. Who’s Jesus now? Eh? If you’ll excuse me, I need to go turn the water cooler into wine.

UPDATE: Didn’t work so I just poured vodka in. That’s in The Bible too.

Here’s Miranda Kerr teasing us by covering herself in Australian Men’s Style Magazine. This seems to be a reoccurring theme with her but since we’ve already seen her topless on numerous occasions I don’t know why she’s hiding the goods now. Anyway, girl is hot but she’s going to get pretty boring soon if she keeps this up.

Related Articles:
Miranda Kerr Bikini Runway Pictures
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Miranda Kerr Topless Bikini Pictures
Miranda Kerr Nude And Topless

Soccer players are the luckiest athletes in the world. For some reason they get the best tail. Here’s “footballer” Cristiano Ronaldo with his hot ass, big-boobed bimbo vacationing in Sardinia. Anyway, I really don’t know a whole lot about this guy other than that he gets to hit that every night and you get to hit your pillow. Hey, it’s fluffy, don’t feel so bad.

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Photos: Flynet, INFdaily.com